This blog will be a storage area for the rambles, ambles, brambles and whatever else I happen to have stuck inside my head. Or outside. Or even the outside of my sleeve. OR BOTH.
If you figure me out, let me know I'd love to learn! Thanks.
""I am just a dreamer, but you are just a dream."— Neil Young
I am officially giving up on this homework. If I continue in this mindset it will be shit of quality and I will most likely fail anyway.
What I have on my to do list: everything.
What I am doing: nothing.
I planned to have an entire day home to catch up on all the work I’m behind on, however it’s 3:14 in the afternoon and I have done nothing. Mum surprised me thismorning by coming into my room and demanding that she take me to a movie as I haven’t seen very much of her lately, and she can see that I’ve sort of been down about things. It was quite nice to go out and spend some time with her that didn’t involve nagging or stress. It was like we were equal. We didn’t really talk about deep things although she wanted to know what was going on, it was nice to just kind of be for a while. We did however talk about my future and I voiced some of my worries and told her that I want to travel, and she cried. She’s honestly the biggest softie, I felt kind of bad, but she said that she always knew that I would want to see the world and that she’s proud and happy that I have something to aim for. A goal. I’ve never really looked at it from this perspective, I suppose it makes me feel a lot better knowing that I have a goal.. I just have no idea how I’m going to get there.
I’m sitting here at my computer after a movie and a nice cafe lunch attempting to do homework. I don’t know how I’m going to manage, my brain is always elsewhere these days. It’s not good, especially considering I have exams coming up… I’m just going to have to manage.
This week has been one of the worst weeks of my life… I honestly don’t think I have ever felt a third this guilty or confused or worried about anything or anybody ever. I broke a promise I made myself a long time ago, whilst at the same time I don’t regret it at all. Which I know is bad… but it is what it is.
Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release, wish for falling through the air to give me some relief… but falling’s not the problem when I’m falling I’m at peace, it’s only when I hit the ground, it causes all the grief…
